honorary hampurite thread

LMAOOOO

I did this to a guy I worked with. His family used to send him care packages when we were in the army and he would get candies and other crap every week. He never shared any of that. He got caramel covered popcorn one time and I asked him for some and he told me to go fuck myself. The next time I went to the PX I bought about 20 boxes of that laxative gum that looks like Chiclets. I opened them all up, dumped them in a bag and made a big point of going around Offering folks pieces of the non-laxative gum. He asked me if he could have some and I told him to go fuck himself. I made sure he was sitting next to me when I made it a point of putting the bag in my drawer and then I left the office. When I came back, he looked like a squirrel that overdosed on nuts. he had two gigantic cheeks full of gum. You were supposed to eat one or two pieces and chew it for a minute. This guy had must’ve had 40 pieces in his mouth that he’chewed on for five minutes. He shit himself for three days .

Pandas can pant and bark. At least the ones I've fucked have.