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Post by 32Green on Jun 24, 2015 8:03:15 GMT -5
Ok. After years of harshly judging other parents on their skills or lack thereof...my about to be HS graduate approached me last night about...allowing him and his pals to drink booze (a few beers ) at his graduation party which will be held at our home. We allow the kid to have a social life and whatever drinking he's done, he's been discreet and didn't drive. We also know friends have called him for rides when they've been drinking..and we've been satisfied that they look out for eachother.
He's a good kid, pretty much did everything we asked of him academically, was a two sport athlete....and is headed off to a great University in August. Better kid at his age than I ever was.
I know his friends, and they all fit the same profile.
Anyhoo, I told him no.
A. its illegal, literally... to host them if they're drinking B. I don't know all the parents and I have no intention of reaching out to all of them. C. I don't know how these kids are getting home or even going home after they leave here. I've seen some nightmare stories unfold from this kind of thing.
He was very respectful and understanding and did not press the issue.
Now....why do I feel so sh1tty?
Anyone asked me 3 years ago what I'd do and I'd yell "fvck no!!!" from the rooftops.
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Post by jetswin on Jun 24, 2015 8:08:17 GMT -5
This is one of the toughest things you have to handle at this age, the consequences are dire God forbid something happens. That being said we let our kids have smaller scale parties where we knew the kids and their families very well, no driving and for the most part parents there as well. This might be tougher for your son but you can explain to him that there will be plenty of larger scale parties elsewhere.
Fortunately it worked out well in our town, now they are both over 21...
btw it doesn't get easier lol
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Post by Fishooked on Jun 24, 2015 8:09:47 GMT -5
I think the only safe way to do it is take everyone's keys and make them sleep over.
But if there are other graduation parties going on...I can't see that happening.
How many kids we talking here?
Pretty sure you'll run out of booze and food though.
Maybe you can shackle them to a wall in the garage or something.
Glad it's not something I have to worry about just yet. :\
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Post by jay57 on Jun 24, 2015 8:28:30 GMT -5
If all the parents are not on board I don't see how you can allow it.
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Post by 32Green on Jun 24, 2015 8:42:52 GMT -5
Thanks boys. Yeah, I guess I was just surprised by how calmly and respectfully he addressed the issue and it made me feel like shyte. He's not much of a talker at this age, so...
Bottom line, the wild cards in this issue outweigh my guilt; Too many kids, parents I don't know, no idea what they are doing if they leave here and hit another party (which is likely). I cant hand-cuff the kid, but I can control what happens here, which I have to do.
One of these kids goes off and does something dopey, my home becomes the ground-zero civilly and legally.
I know one family by me that hosted "the greatest kids in the world" to a beer bash just prior to graduation.... and several arrests and lawsuits later, they are financially.... and socially... ruined.
Gotta be selfish on this one.
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Post by Fishooked on Jun 24, 2015 8:53:20 GMT -5
Thanks boys. Yeah, I guess I was just surprised by how calmly and respectfully he addressed the issue and it made me feel like shyte. He's not much of a talker at this age, so... Bottom line, the wild cards in this issue outweigh my guilt; Too many kids, parents I don't know, no idea what they are doing if they leave here and hit another party (which is likely). I cant hand-cuff the kid, but I can control what happens here, which I have to do. One of these kids goes off and does something dopey, my home becomes the ground-zero civilly and legally. I know one family by me that hosted "the greatest kids in the world" to a beer bash just prior to graduation.... and several arrests and lawsuits later, they are financially.... and socially... ruined. Gotta be selfish on this one. Yeah, well if you're ruined financially how is he going to ask you for money when he's in college? Exactly this though, too many of these types of stories happen this time of year. |
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Post by Bing© in Buffalo Chairman on Jun 24, 2015 8:55:51 GMT -5
Thanks boys. Yeah, I guess I was just surprised by how calmly and respectfully he addressed the issue and it made me feel like shyte. He's not much of a talker at this age, so... Bottom line, the wild cards in this issue outweigh my guilt; Too many kids, parents I don't know, no idea what they are doing if they leave here and hit another party (which is likely). I cant hand-cuff the kid, but I can control what happens here, which I have to do. One of these kids goes off and does something dopey, my home becomes the ground-zero civilly and legally. I know one family by me that hosted "the greatest kids in the world" to a beer bash just prior to graduation.... and several arrests and lawsuits later, they are financially.... and socially... ruined. Gotta be selfish on this one. Times are so much different then before. My Parents hosted a keg party when i finished HS in 1984. When my Daughter graduated in 2004, 20 years later, she had friends over that stayed, and NO ONE new was allowed in the house after midnight. Bottom line is kids ARE going to want to party, just hope and pray that they stay safe. .... ALWAYS tell them they can call you, and you will call a cab for them NO Questions asked...... i used to remind my daughter everytime she went out to NEVER EVER EVER be a passenger if the driver had been drinking.,...... such a difficult call for you to make.... i hated those days when my kids were teens..... |
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Post by Jets Things on Jun 24, 2015 9:08:16 GMT -5
No booze. And don't be the parent who tries to pull one over on the kids and gets a keg of O'Doul's. That happened to a kid I graduated with. Word got out and everyone skedaddled as if Great White just took the stage.
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Post by Gunnails on Jun 24, 2015 9:30:17 GMT -5
Maybe you could get him a bounce house instead?
Or take him and some of his Buds out to the woods and drop them off with some camping gear where thjey can't get into any real trouble (away from water and cliffs, etc.)
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Post by 32Green on Jun 24, 2015 10:18:59 GMT -5
Thanks boys. Yeah, I guess I was just surprised by how calmly and respectfully he addressed the issue and it made me feel like shyte. He's not much of a talker at this age, so... Bottom line, the wild cards in this issue outweigh my guilt; Too many kids, parents I don't know, no idea what they are doing if they leave here and hit another party (which is likely). I cant hand-cuff the kid, but I can control what happens here, which I have to do. One of these kids goes off and does something dopey, my home becomes the ground-zero civilly and legally. I know one family by me that hosted "the greatest kids in the world" to a beer bash just prior to graduation.... and several arrests and lawsuits later, they are financially.... and socially... ruined. Gotta be selfish on this one. Times are so much different then before. My Parents hosted a keg party when i finished HS in 1984. When my Daughter graduated in 2004, 20 years later, she had friends over that stayed, and NO ONE new was allowed in the house after midnight. Bottom line is kids ARE going to want to party, just hope and pray that they stay safe. .... ALWAYS tell them they can call you, and you will call a cab for them NO Questions asked...... i used to remind my daughter everytime she went out to NEVER EVER EVER be a passenger if the driver had been drinking.,...... such a difficult call for you to make.... i hated those days when my kids were teens..... Bing, I think the drinking age was like 18-19 back then too.
Also, hosting the parties didn't bring the criminal and civil liabilitites that they do now.
Interesting fact, your homeowners insurance doesn't cover you if something bad happens and you were hosting underage drinking.
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Post by 32Green on Jun 24, 2015 10:20:04 GMT -5
No booze. And don't be the parent who tries to pull one over on the kids and gets a keg of O'Doul's. That happened to a kid I graduated with. Word got out and everyone skedaddled as if Great White just took the stage. Lol...skedaddled...Great white....lol  |
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Post by Bing© in Buffalo Chairman on Jun 24, 2015 10:28:09 GMT -5
Times are so much different then before. My Parents hosted a keg party when i finished HS in 1984. When my Daughter graduated in 2004, 20 years later, she had friends over that stayed, and NO ONE new was allowed in the house after midnight. Bottom line is kids ARE going to want to party, just hope and pray that they stay safe. .... ALWAYS tell them they can call you, and you will call a cab for them NO Questions asked...... i used to remind my daughter everytime she went out to NEVER EVER EVER be a passenger if the driver had been drinking.,...... such a difficult call for you to make.... i hated those days when my kids were teens..... Bing, I think the drinking age was like 18-19 back then too.
Also, hosting the parties didn't bring the criminal and civil liabilitites that they do now.
Interesting fact, your homeowners insurance doesn't cover you if something bad happens and you were hosting underage drinking.
yea.... you're right..... Senior skip day always started with a Keg in the School parking lot...... today the Cops would be there inna bout 2 minutes..... my hair was Dark brown when my daughter was 15..... at 19 it had turned completely grey...... Good luck 32!!!! |
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Post by 32Green on Jun 24, 2015 10:28:37 GMT -5
Maybe you could get him a bounce house instead? Or take him and some of his Buds out to the woods and drop them off with some camping gear where thjey can't get into any real trouble (away from water and cliffs, etc.) Point taken. 
Yeah, in the scheme of things, I am taking the no-risk pvssy way out.
Like I said, I'm under no illusions about what he's up to when I'm not around and I keep an open discussion going with him.
In this particular instance, there are just too many unknowns and things I cant control.
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Post by jetswin on Jun 24, 2015 10:44:18 GMT -5
There is a somewhat more expensive however legal option...we went down to the Atlantis with a bunch of families graduating with my son, literally took over the place. Legal drinking and gambling age is 18 down there, everyone had a riot and it wan't too expensive. That was a fun couple of days.
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Post by Jets Things on Jun 24, 2015 12:18:00 GMT -5
No booze. And don't be the parent who tries to pull one over on the kids and gets a keg of O'Doul's. That happened to a kid I graduated with. Word got out and everyone skedaddled as if Great White just took the stage. Lol...skedaddled...Great white....lol I used skedaddle all the time with my kids. Gotta admit, I was laughing my ass off when I came up with the Great White reference. It's just plain dark. |
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