Who had the African guy in the wheel-well.

I like this neighbor :"I spoke to Heathrow. They said this happens once every five years."

Fuckin balls, right to the source. 

"Allo, Heathrow?"

"Yes, yes, to whom am I speaking?"

"I live in Clapham Garden.."

"Pardon?"

"The African fellow business...."

"Oh yes, of course, of course, unfortunate stuff, that"

"When can we expect the next one.....I've planted Begonia's you see"

"Ah, Begonia's, very ambitious for this climate, wouldnt you say?"

"I've a bit of experience in this..."

"Yes, yes, of course of course...I'd say 5 years til the next one, dont hold me to it though. Very unpredictable airport operations in those parts, buggers running around the tarmac all day and night, no telling where they'll end up".

"Oh my...well thank you for your attention".

"My pleasure, good day."

That sort of thing with Benny Hill music.