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Post by tbp on Apr 13, 2020 13:51:19 GMT -5
Reminds me of Leon Washington's hit on Channing Crowder I was thinking Mo Lewis on Drew Bledsoe
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Post by Trades on Apr 13, 2020 15:59:18 GMT -5
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Post by 32Green on Apr 13, 2020 16:09:52 GMT -5
Love Caliendo's Madden/Summerall breakdowns.
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Post by Big L on Apr 13, 2020 17:05:44 GMT -5
Textbook check. Lead with the shoulder to the torso. Sweet. Kid’ll learn to keep his head on a swivel.
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Post by westcoastoffensive on Apr 13, 2020 22:42:09 GMT -5
I have wanted Frank Caliendo's job since I was 8. I didn't know it was a real job!
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Post by adpz on Apr 15, 2020 15:14:44 GMT -5
No images - sorry - but the mental ones alone are fantasticFrench Fighter Jet Joy Ride Goes Très, Très WrongA French defense contractor riding in a Dassault fighter learned the hard way that the grab bar next to his seat was actually the ejection handle.
A French defense-industry employee about to retire was gifted something he was extremely reluctant to accept: a ride in a Dassault fighter jet.
The 64-year-old was not correctly instructed, to say the least, in passenger etiquette, and to make a long story short, he self-ejected midflight.
Imagine: You work hard your whole life in the French defense industry, and when it's time to retire, your co-workers want to give you something more memorable than a gold watch or a set of golf clubs. So they set up a coveted back-seat ride in a Dassault Rafale B fighter jet, the kind of perk that requires serious connections.
Just one problem: nobody asked one particular 64-year-old civilian whether he ever wanted such a ride, or showed him much about what to expect. Next thing you know, the French Investigation Bureau for State Aviation Safety (BEA-E) is issuing a report explaining how Monsieur Newbie came to experience not only the Dassault, but also its Martin-Baker MK16 ejection seat.
Well, mistakes were made. Lots of them. Since this treat was to be a surprise, the recipient didn't get much of a briefing on what to expect. His g-suit pants weren't on correctly, his seat harness wasn't tight, and his helmet—and oxygen mask—were unbuckled as the plane taxied to the runway at Saint-Dizier 113 air base. He was so nervous that his heartbeat was around 140 beats per minute just from climbing into the plane. Our reluctant Goose did get medical clearance from a doctor, but only four hours before the flight, and with an important stipulation: no negative g's. The way the rest of this was unfolding, do you want to guess whether there were negative g's? Mais oui.
The fighter pilot, being a fighter pilot, probably thought he was taking it easy as he pulled into a 47-degree climb and generated a 3.7-g load. (Which, incidentally, was also beyond the doctor-ordered limit of 3 g's.) On the climb, both pilot and passenger were crushed down into the seat. But when the plane started to level off, things got real panicky in the rear seat, as a negative 0.67-g load caused the ill-buckled passenger to feel like he was about to fly out of the cockpit. Which, shortly thereafter, he did.
Apparently the quick and dirty safety briefing failed to properly emphasize the fact that the black-and-yellow striped loop in the middle of the seat, between his legs, was not a grab handle but the trigger for the ejection seat. The good doctor's g-load recommendations were surely exceeded as pyrotechnics blasted a hole in the canopy and rocket motors fired the seat and its terrified denizen out into the slipstream high above the French countryside.
Around about the time our hero took to the skies in his very own chairplane, the unbuckled helmet parted ways with the miserable noggin it was pledged to protect.
In a growing cascade of colossal fails, the next one was actually fortuitous: the pilot's own ejection seat malfunctioned. When either the fore or aft seat in a Rafale is triggered, the second one is supposed to follow automatically, on the theory that if one crew member makes an unscheduled departure, there's probably a good reason for the other to promptly join the exodus. And indeed, after the world's unhappiest retiree bid adieu, pyrotechnics blew a hole in the pilot's canopy. But the first ejection damaged the front seat, such that it didn't eject, and the pilot was actually able to land his now al fresco fighter jet. At which point the pilot beat feet away from the aircraft, for fear that the dud seat would, like so many flights, take off late. In fact, nobody was allowed near the plane for 24 hours after it landed, just in case the pilot's seat decided to go all Colonel Stapp and fire the rockets.
As for our unfortunate co-pilot, he made it to the ground with minor injuries and likely a keen desire to never hang out with his old co-workers ever again. Because, as the report notes, he didn't want to ride in a fighter jet in the first place. According to the BEA-E, the passenger "never expressed a desire to carry out this type of flight, and in particular on Rafale," but his cohorts offered him no chance to bail. Ultimately, he did anyway.
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Post by westcoastoffensive on Apr 16, 2020 19:46:26 GMT -5
Wait - did you say French Air Forz?
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Post by Big L on Apr 17, 2020 6:13:31 GMT -5
“A ride in this jet?.... Nah, I’m cool.... No, seriously, I’m good, thanks...... Fuck me?! FUCK YOU!!”
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Post by bxjetfan on Apr 23, 2020 9:15:55 GMT -5
If you got 8 minutes.....
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Post by Big L on Apr 24, 2020 11:45:33 GMT -5
If you got 8 minutes..... Never heard of this movie until about 2 months ago. Pretty funny.
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Post by Raoul Duke on Apr 28, 2020 6:45:37 GMT -5
No images - sorry - but the mental ones alone are fantasticFrench Fighter Jet Joy Ride Goes Très, Très WrongA French defense contractor riding in a Dassault fighter learned the hard way that the grab bar next to his seat was actually the ejection handle.
A French defense-industry employee about to retire was gifted something he was extremely reluctant to accept: a ride in a Dassault fighter jet.
The 64-year-old was not correctly instructed, to say the least, in passenger etiquette, and to make a long story short, he self-ejected midflight.
Imagine: You work hard your whole life in the French defense industry, and when it's time to retire, your co-workers want to give you something more memorable than a gold watch or a set of golf clubs. So they set up a coveted back-seat ride in a Dassault Rafale B fighter jet, the kind of perk that requires serious connections.
Just one problem: nobody asked one particular 64-year-old civilian whether he ever wanted such a ride, or showed him much about what to expect. Next thing you know, the French Investigation Bureau for State Aviation Safety (BEA-E) is issuing a report explaining how Monsieur Newbie came to experience not only the Dassault, but also its Martin-Baker MK16 ejection seat.
Well, mistakes were made. Lots of them. Since this treat was to be a surprise, the recipient didn't get much of a briefing on what to expect. His g-suit pants weren't on correctly, his seat harness wasn't tight, and his helmet—and oxygen mask—were unbuckled as the plane taxied to the runway at Saint-Dizier 113 air base. He was so nervous that his heartbeat was around 140 beats per minute just from climbing into the plane. Our reluctant Goose did get medical clearance from a doctor, but only four hours before the flight, and with an important stipulation: no negative g's. The way the rest of this was unfolding, do you want to guess whether there were negative g's? Mais oui.
The fighter pilot, being a fighter pilot, probably thought he was taking it easy as he pulled into a 47-degree climb and generated a 3.7-g load. (Which, incidentally, was also beyond the doctor-ordered limit of 3 g's.) On the climb, both pilot and passenger were crushed down into the seat. But when the plane started to level off, things got real panicky in the rear seat, as a negative 0.67-g load caused the ill-buckled passenger to feel like he was about to fly out of the cockpit. Which, shortly thereafter, he did.
Apparently the quick and dirty safety briefing failed to properly emphasize the fact that the black-and-yellow striped loop in the middle of the seat, between his legs, was not a grab handle but the trigger for the ejection seat. The good doctor's g-load recommendations were surely exceeded as pyrotechnics blasted a hole in the canopy and rocket motors fired the seat and its terrified denizen out into the slipstream high above the French countryside.
Around about the time our hero took to the skies in his very own chairplane, the unbuckled helmet parted ways with the miserable noggin it was pledged to protect.
In a growing cascade of colossal fails, the next one was actually fortuitous: the pilot's own ejection seat malfunctioned. When either the fore or aft seat in a Rafale is triggered, the second one is supposed to follow automatically, on the theory that if one crew member makes an unscheduled departure, there's probably a good reason for the other to promptly join the exodus. And indeed, after the world's unhappiest retiree bid adieu, pyrotechnics blew a hole in the pilot's canopy. But the first ejection damaged the front seat, such that it didn't eject, and the pilot was actually able to land his now al fresco fighter jet. At which point the pilot beat feet away from the aircraft, for fear that the dud seat would, like so many flights, take off late. In fact, nobody was allowed near the plane for 24 hours after it landed, just in case the pilot's seat decided to go all Colonel Stapp and fire the rockets.
As for our unfortunate co-pilot, he made it to the ground with minor injuries and likely a keen desire to never hang out with his old co-workers ever again. Because, as the report notes, he didn't want to ride in a fighter jet in the first place. According to the BEA-E, the passenger "never expressed a desire to carry out this type of flight, and in particular on Rafale," but his cohorts offered him no chance to bail. Ultimately, he did anyway. Monsieur Newbie..LOL Ironically this made zero headlines here..
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Post by adpz on Apr 28, 2020 10:21:17 GMT -5
Ironically this made zero headlines here.. What a shame - a lovely event lol. Reads like the screenplay for one of those Richard-Depardieu comedies from the early 80s. The last story of this caliber - I don't think anyone remembers - was back in 2008/9 when those brothers in Budapest who were living in a cliffside cave above the city and panhandling during the day had a German lawyer visit them and explain that they were the sole heirs to a distant German relative. And they had inherited 700M Euros. It's one of those stories - not even jealous - just happy that it can happen to someone lol. EDIT: Here it is - fcking hecc - was actually 4 Billion euros www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/hungary/6704685/Brothers-living-in-cave-to-inherit-billions-from-lost-grandmother.htmlBrothers living in cave to inherit billions from lost grandmotherTwo penniless brothers who live in a cave outside Budapest are to inherit most of a reported £4 billion after an astonishing twist in their family fortunes.
Zsolt Peladi: Brothers living in cave to inherit billions from lost grandmother Zsolt and Geza Peladi have no fixed address and eke out an existence by selling junk they find in the street. But their scavenging days are about to be over. The brothers have been informed they are entitled to their long-lost grandmother’s fortune, along with a sister who lives in America. Charity workers in Hungary broke the news to them after being contacted by lawyers handling the estate of their maternal grandmother who died recently in Baden-Wurttemberg, Germany. “We knew our mother came from a wealthy family but she was a difficult person and severed ties with them, and then later abandoned us and we lost touch with her and our father until she eventually died,” Geza Peladi, 43, told ATV television. Under German law, direct descendants are automatically entitled to a share of any estate. As the grandmother’s daughter is dead the money goes to her grandchildren. “If this all works out it will certainly make up for the life we have had until now — all we really had was each other — no women would look at us living in a cave,” said Geza. “But with money, maybe we can find a partner and finally have a normal life. We don’t know yet if she even told our grandmother about us. I understand it was only while they were carrying out genealogical research that lawyers found we existed.” Gyula Balazs Csaszar, a volunteer working for Budapest’s Maltese Charity Service, said: “We were contacted by a lawyer asking us to find the brothers. “He claimed he could help their lives with a large sum of money.” The grandmother’s name has been kept secret to prevent fraudsters trying to cash in on the inheritance. A spokesman for the lawyers handling the case said: “We know who we need to speak to and that is the two brothers who we are pretty sure are the grandchildren. There is no need for anyone else to be informed.” The brothers are currently seeking copies of their mother’s death certificate and proof of their identity and family connections as the rightful heirs before travelling to Germany to claim the fortune.
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Post by Ff2 on Apr 30, 2020 8:58:02 GMT -5
”If this all works out it will certainly make up for the life we have had until now — all we really had was each other — no women would look at us living in a cave,” said Geza.
Is he saying they did the ghey?
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Post by westcoastoffensive on Apr 30, 2020 10:03:29 GMT -5
”If this all works out it will certainly make up for the life we have had until now — all we really had was each other — no women would look at us living in a cave,” said Geza. Is he saying they did the ghey? He's saying the overpowering smell of urine made it hard for ladies to find a comfortable rock. omg they did the ghey
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Post by Big L on Apr 30, 2020 20:41:12 GMT -5
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