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Post by flushingjet on Apr 4, 2017 14:52:51 GMT -5
Frozen: The World Tour
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Post by flushingjet on Apr 4, 2017 15:09:09 GMT -5
This has been building in me for a while, so allow me to vent. In the interest of disclosure, as if any of you mouth-breathing cretins would know what the word meant, I had reindeer when I was a kid, big mooses, whom I adored...but their deaths devastated me. When I moved out, I never had the time to care for one and then when I got married my wife was never a deer-fan, so the subject never came up. When the kids hinted around about a having one, I would knowingly tilt my head towards their mother and the subject got dropped. I think a small part of me wanted nothing to do with becoming attached to a reindeer again, as it was almost worse than losing a person, if that makes sense. Now. I have several friends who never had kids and reindeer have replaced them in their lives. I understand that...but when I visit, I was expected to smile and rejoice as their deer hit me as soon as I walked in the door as they mooed, then sat as at my feet as I tried to eat...all the while "oh he/she never does that" as they nuzzled me with runny reindeer schnozzoos-always the subject of any conversation I tried to have. Grown men and women interrupting conversations as they spoke in a sing song voice to the reindeer or yelled "stop, stop, stop" over and over as the reindeer ignored all commands. Again "oh he/she NEVER acts like this" the repeated refrain. I simply stopped going to these homes. Reindeer are not children and I wont pretend they are. I have two different families on my block who have those white Lapland reindeer. They also have multiple kids who can walk these deer...yet they do not. They simply open the front door and let the deer out. Yup. To Piss and shit on their.. or their adjacent neighbors laws...and chase/bleat at anyone who happens to be walking by. Every fucking day. This past weekend, I visit my kid at College and treat him and his girlfriend to lunch. We sit in the back patio area. About 20 minutes into it...a Preppy looking broad I'll name Anna strides into the place with a pedigree deer on a leash, gives the place a once over, then leaves. My "asshole" raydar is activated as the kids obliviously chomped away thrilled with their free meal. 3 minutes later, Anna arrives with Kristoff and 'lil Olaf ...all attired in the finest Nordic mukluks...and the fucking deer, who is all over the place straining at the reins and crazed from the smell of Icelandic honey and blodkorv. In the corner is a table away from everyone else, ready to go. But no. Fucking Thunder-cunt demands that they clean off the table next to us...which was covered in extra plates, napkins, condiments etc. It was basically an improvised staging area for the staff. But it was in the center of the area. Important. I'm peeking at this as my kids chatter away and the steam begins to rise. "Asshole Radar" at Defcon 9. I can see where this is going to end up and I'm fucking furious. Anna, Kristoff and Olaf chirping loudly to the deer all the while. After all...they are performing. We are to admire this perfect 'lil family scene. Attention must be paid. Fuck everyone else. No sooner does the Anna family sit down, than the deer is under our table. reins dragging behind...scurrying for scraps as my kids glance down and throw their legs to the side as they feel the deer's fur brushing against them. I instantly flip. "Control your deer!!!" I yell. Yup, I lost it.  The place goes silent. My sopne and his girlfriend freeze where they sat and stare at their plates. Anna yells back "He only got away once!!!! RELAX". Kristoff goes "Its only a deer, relax, guy". I say "Its...a nili". Then silence. Now, as I anticipated...I am the asshole. I'm the one who said something and embarrassed my kid in front of his girlfriend. Fucking great. We proceed to finish our meals with awkward small talk, pay our bill and get up to leave. "HAVE A NICE DAY" announces Kristoff as we hit the door. I paused, swallowed and kept walking. Now let me have it. |
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Post by Chesapeakejet on Apr 4, 2017 15:25:09 GMT -5
Those nostrils look like Jetbabes. _ Nostrils McGee!!! |
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Post by Chesapeakejet on Apr 4, 2017 15:25:59 GMT -5
This has been building in me for a while, so allow me to vent. In the interest of disclosure, as if any of you mouth-breathing cretins would know what the word meant, I had reindeer when I was a kid, big mooses, whom I adored...but their deaths devastated me. When I moved out, I never had the time to care for one and then when I got married my wife was never a deer-fan, so the subject never came up. When the kids hinted around about a having one, I would knowingly tilt my head towards their mother and the subject got dropped. I think a small part of me wanted nothing to do with becoming attached to a reindeer again, as it was almost worse than losing a person, if that makes sense. Now. I have several friends who never had kids and reindeer have replaced them in their lives. I understand that...but when I visit, I was expected to smile and rejoice as their deer hit me as soon as I walked in the door as they mooed, then sat as at my feet as I tried to eat...all the while "oh he/she never does that" as they nuzzled me with runny reindeer schnozzoos-always the subject of any conversation I tried to have. Grown men and women interrupting conversations as they spoke in a sing song voice to the reindeer or yelled "stop, stop, stop" over and over as the reindeer ignored all commands. Again "oh he/she NEVER acts like this" the repeated refrain. I simply stopped going to these homes. Reindeer are not children and I wont pretend they are. I have two different families on my block who have those white Lapland reindeer. They also have multiple kids who can walk these deer...yet they do not. They simply open the front door and let the deer out. Yup. To Piss and shit on their.. or their adjacent neighbors laws...and chase/bleat at anyone who happens to be walking by. Every fucking day. This past weekend, I visit my kid at College and treat him and his girlfriend to lunch. We sit in the back patio area. About 20 minutes into it...a Preppy looking broad I'll name Anna strides into the place with a pedigree deer on a leash, gives the place a once over, then leaves. My "asshole" raydar is activated as the kids obliviously chomped away thrilled with their free meal. 3 minutes later, Anna arrives with Kristoff and 'lil Olaf ...all attired in the finest Nordic mukluks...and the fucking deer, who is all over the place straining at the reins and crazed from the smell of Icelandic honey and blodkorv. In the corner is a table away from everyone else, ready to go. But no. Fucking Thunder-cunt demands that they clean off the table next to us...which was covered in extra plates, napkins, condiments etc. It was basically an improvised staging area for the staff. But it was in the center of the area. Important. I'm peeking at this as my kids chatter away and the steam begins to rise. "Asshole Radar" at Defcon 9. I can see where this is going to end up and I'm fucking furious. Anna, Kristoff and Olaf chirping loudly to the deer all the while. After all...they are performing. We are to admire this perfect 'lil family scene. Attention must be paid. Fuck everyone else. No sooner does the Anna family sit down, than the deer is under our table. reins dragging behind...scurrying for scraps as my kids glance down and throw their legs to the side as they feel the deer's fur brushing against them. I instantly flip. "Control your deer!!!" I yell. Yup, I lost it. The place goes silent. My sopne and his girlfriend freeze where they sat and stare at their plates. Anna yells back "He only got away once!!!! RELAX". Kristoff goes "Its only a deer, relax, guy". I say "Its...a nili". Then silence. Now, as I anticipated...I am the asshole. I'm the one who said something and embarrassed my kid in front of his girlfriend. Fucking great. We proceed to finish our meals with awkward small talk, pay our bill and get up to leave. "HAVE A NICE DAY" announces Kristoff as we hit the door. I paused, swallowed and kept walking. Now let me have it. Oh deer. |
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Post by Jets Things on Apr 4, 2017 15:29:24 GMT -5
This has been building in me for a while, so allow me to vent. In the interest of disclosure, as if any of you mouth-breathing cretins would know what the word meant, I had reindeer when I was a kid, big mooses, whom I adored...but their deaths devastated me. When I moved out, I never had the time to care for one and then when I got married my wife was never a deer-fan, so the subject never came up. When the kids hinted around about a having one, I would knowingly tilt my head towards their mother and the subject got dropped. I think a small part of me wanted nothing to do with becoming attached to a reindeer again, as it was almost worse than losing a person, if that makes sense. Now. I have several friends who never had kids and reindeer have replaced them in their lives. I understand that...but when I visit, I was expected to smile and rejoice as their deer hit me as soon as I walked in the door as they mooed, then sat as at my feet as I tried to eat...all the while "oh he/she never does that" as they nuzzled me with runny reindeer schnozzoos-always the subject of any conversation I tried to have. Grown men and women interrupting conversations as they spoke in a sing song voice to the reindeer or yelled "stop, stop, stop" over and over as the reindeer ignored all commands. Again "oh he/she NEVER acts like this" the repeated refrain. I simply stopped going to these homes. Reindeer are not children and I wont pretend they are. I have two different families on my block who have those white Lapland reindeer. They also have multiple kids who can walk these deer...yet they do not. They simply open the front door and let the deer out. Yup. To Piss and shit on their.. or their adjacent neighbors laws...and chase/bleat at anyone who happens to be walking by. Every fucking day. This past weekend, I visit my kid at College and treat him and his girlfriend to lunch. We sit in the back patio area. About 20 minutes into it...a Preppy looking broad I'll name Anna strides into the place with a pedigree deer on a leash, gives the place a once over, then leaves. My "asshole" raydar is activated as the kids obliviously chomped away thrilled with their free meal. 3 minutes later, Anna arrives with Kristoff and 'lil Olaf ...all attired in the finest Nordic mukluks...and the fucking deer, who is all over the place straining at the reins and crazed from the smell of Icelandic honey and blodkorv. In the corner is a table away from everyone else, ready to go. But no. Fucking Thunder-cunt demands that they clean off the table next to us...which was covered in extra plates, napkins, condiments etc. It was basically an improvised staging area for the staff. But it was in the center of the area. Important. I'm peeking at this as my kids chatter away and the steam begins to rise. "Asshole Radar" at Defcon 9. I can see where this is going to end up and I'm fucking furious. Anna, Kristoff and Olaf chirping loudly to the deer all the while. After all...they are performing. We are to admire this perfect 'lil family scene. Attention must be paid. Fuck everyone else. No sooner does the Anna family sit down, than the deer is under our table. reins dragging behind...scurrying for scraps as my kids glance down and throw their legs to the side as they feel the deer's fur brushing against them. I instantly flip. "Control your deer!!!" I yell. Yup, I lost it. The place goes silent. My sopne and his girlfriend freeze where they sat and stare at their plates. Anna yells back "He only got away once!!!! RELAX". Kristoff goes "Its only a deer, relax, guy". I say "Its...a nili". Then silence. Now, as I anticipated...I am the asshole. I'm the one who said something and embarrassed my kid in front of his girlfriend. Fucking great. We proceed to finish our meals with awkward small talk, pay our bill and get up to leave. "HAVE A NICE DAY" announces Kristoff as we hit the door. I paused, swallowed and kept walking. Now let me have it. Kristoff must really like you. |
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Post by flushingjet on Apr 4, 2017 15:33:18 GMT -5
This has been building in me for a while, so allow me to vent. In the interest of disclosure, as if any of you mouth-breathing cretins would know what the word meant, I had reindeer when I was a kid, big mooses, whom I adored...but their deaths devastated me. When I moved out, I never had the time to care for one and then when I got married my wife was never a deer-fan, so the subject never came up. When the kids hinted around about a having one, I would knowingly tilt my head towards their mother and the subject got dropped. I think a small part of me wanted nothing to do with becoming attached to a reindeer again, as it was almost worse than losing a person, if that makes sense. Now. I have several friends who never had kids and reindeer have replaced them in their lives. I understand that...but when I visit, I was expected to smile and rejoice as their deer hit me as soon as I walked in the door as they mooed, then sat as at my feet as I tried to eat...all the while "oh he/she never does that" as they nuzzled me with runny reindeer schnozzoos-always the subject of any conversation I tried to have. Grown men and women interrupting conversations as they spoke in a sing song voice to the reindeer or yelled "stop, stop, stop" over and over as the reindeer ignored all commands. Again "oh he/she NEVER acts like this" the repeated refrain. I simply stopped going to these homes. Reindeer are not children and I wont pretend they are. I have two different families on my block who have those white Lapland reindeer. They also have multiple kids who can walk these deer...yet they do not. They simply open the front door and let the deer out. Yup. To Piss and shit on their.. or their adjacent neighbors laws...and chase/bleat at anyone who happens to be walking by. Every fucking day. This past weekend, I visit my kid at College and treat him and his girlfriend to lunch. We sit in the back patio area. About 20 minutes into it...a Preppy looking broad I'll name Anna strides into the place with a pedigree deer on a leash, gives the place a once over, then leaves. My "asshole" raydar is activated as the kids obliviously chomped away thrilled with their free meal. 3 minutes later, Anna arrives with Kristoff and 'lil Olaf ...all attired in the finest Nordic mukluks...and the fucking deer, who is all over the place straining at the reins and crazed from the smell of Icelandic honey and blodkorv. In the corner is a table away from everyone else, ready to go. But no. Fucking Thunder-cunt demands that they clean off the table next to us...which was covered in extra plates, napkins, condiments etc. It was basically an improvised staging area for the staff. But it was in the center of the area. Important. I'm peeking at this as my kids chatter away and the steam begins to rise. "Asshole Radar" at Defcon 9. I can see where this is going to end up and I'm fucking furious. Anna, Kristoff and Olaf chirping loudly to the deer all the while. After all...they are performing. We are to admire this perfect 'lil family scene. Attention must be paid. Fuck everyone else. No sooner does the Anna family sit down, than the deer is under our table. reins dragging behind...scurrying for scraps as my kids glance down and throw their legs to the side as they feel the deer's fur brushing against them. I instantly flip. "Control your deer!!!" I yell. Yup, I lost it. The place goes silent. My sopne and his girlfriend freeze where they sat and stare at their plates. Anna yells back "He only got away once!!!! RELAX". Kristoff goes "Its only a deer, relax, guy". I say "Its...a nili". Then silence. Now, as I anticipated...I am the asshole. I'm the one who said something and embarrassed my kid in front of his girlfriend. Fucking great. We proceed to finish our meals with awkward small talk, pay our bill and get up to leave. "HAVE A NICE DAY" announces Kristoff as we hit the door. I paused, swallowed and kept walking. Now let me have it. Kristoff must really like you. He's a big Unknown Comic fan... |
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Post by JStokes on Apr 4, 2017 15:56:48 GMT -5
This has been building in me for a while, so allow me to vent. In the interest of disclosure, as if any of you mouth-breathing cretins would know what the word meant, I had reindeer when I was a kid, big mooses, whom I adored...but their deaths devastated me. When I moved out, I never had the time to care for one and then when I got married my wife was never a deer-fan, so the subject never came up. When the kids hinted around about a having one, I would knowingly tilt my head towards their mother and the subject got dropped. I think a small part of me wanted nothing to do with becoming attached to a reindeer again, as it was almost worse than losing a person, if that makes sense. Now. I have several friends who never had kids and reindeer have replaced them in their lives. I understand that...but when I visit, I was expected to smile and rejoice as their deer hit me as soon as I walked in the door as they mooed, then sat as at my feet as I tried to eat...all the while "oh he/she never does that" as they nuzzled me with runny reindeer schnozzoos-always the subject of any conversation I tried to have. Grown men and women interrupting conversations as they spoke in a sing song voice to the reindeer or yelled "stop, stop, stop" over and over as the reindeer ignored all commands. Again "oh he/she NEVER acts like this" the repeated refrain. I simply stopped going to these homes. Reindeer are not children and I wont pretend they are. I have two different families on my block who have those white Lapland reindeer. They also have multiple kids who can walk these deer...yet they do not. They simply open the front door and let the deer out. Yup. To Piss and shit on their.. or their adjacent neighbors laws...and chase/bleat at anyone who happens to be walking by. Every fucking day. This past weekend, I visit my kid at College and treat him and his girlfriend to lunch. We sit in the back patio area. About 20 minutes into it...a Preppy looking broad I'll name Anna strides into the place with a pedigree deer on a leash, gives the place a once over, then leaves. My "asshole" raydar is activated as the kids obliviously chomped away thrilled with their free meal. 3 minutes later, Anna arrives with Kristoff and 'lil Olaf ...all attired in the finest Nordic mukluks...and the fucking deer, who is all over the place straining at the reins and crazed from the smell of Icelandic honey and blodkorv. In the corner is a table away from everyone else, ready to go. But no. Fucking Thunder-cunt demands that they clean off the table next to us...which was covered in extra plates, napkins, condiments etc. It was basically an improvised staging area for the staff. But it was in the center of the area. Important. I'm peeking at this as my kids chatter away and the steam begins to rise. "Asshole Radar" at Defcon 9. I can see where this is going to end up and I'm fucking furious. Anna, Kristoff and Olaf chirping loudly to the deer all the while. After all...they are performing. We are to admire this perfect 'lil family scene. Attention must be paid. Fuck everyone else. No sooner does the Anna family sit down, than the deer is under our table. reins dragging behind...scurrying for scraps as my kids glance down and throw their legs to the side as they feel the deer's fur brushing against them. I instantly flip. "Control your deer!!!" I yell. Yup, I lost it. The place goes silent. My sopne and his girlfriend freeze where they sat and stare at their plates. Anna yells back "He only got away once!!!! RELAX". Kristoff goes "Its only a deer, relax, guy". I say "Its...a nili". Then silence. Now, as I anticipated...I am the asshole. I'm the one who said something and embarrassed my kid in front of his girlfriend. Fucking great. We proceed to finish our meals with awkward small talk, pay our bill and get up to leave. "HAVE A NICE DAY" announces Kristoff as we hit the door. I paused, swallowed and kept walking. Now let me have it. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still, no idea. What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs from Alaska? Still, no idea, but I'll ask her. _ |
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Post by 32Green on Apr 4, 2017 16:28:58 GMT -5
wtf
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Post by JStokes on Apr 4, 2017 16:35:53 GMT -5
Don't tell us you hate Rudolph, too. _ |
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Post by flushingjet on Apr 4, 2017 17:58:52 GMT -5
Those nostrils look like Jetbabes. _ Nostrils McGee!!! Nostril-Dame-us |
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Post by tbp on Apr 4, 2017 22:36:16 GMT -5
Nice looking girlfriend. You Frenchies never cease to amaze. |
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Post by Fishooked on Apr 5, 2017 5:37:30 GMT -5
Any furniture hand-hewn from salt? I laughed way harder at this than I probably should have lol |
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Post by quantum on Apr 5, 2017 9:48:06 GMT -5
suck a frozen dick
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