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Post by westcoastoffensive on Jun 21, 2024 2:25:37 GMT -5
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Post by 32Green on Jun 22, 2024 14:31:41 GMT -5
I was at a CFB game yesterday when I felt the combination of nothing but morning coffee and a spicy beef patty for lunch brewing something foul, and would not wait. Went to the facilities and released a combination of solid, liquid, and gas with such an acrid aroma that would curl your nose hairs. No less than a half dozen people made comments upon entering the facility, such as ‘OMG’, ‘holy shit that’s awful’, and ‘what is that smell’. It was a proud moment. I belong to a beach club and about a month ago I dropped my daupne off to work (she's a lifeguard there). I dont ordinarily eat a greasy breakfast but the daupne wanted to stop on the way and I said fuck it and ordered a BEC. Went for a walk on the beach and about 10 minutes in I felt the rumble. I scurried back up to the club and hit the nearest empty bathroom and blew it up. Groans, "oh no, oh no", knee slapping, the whole act. It was a three flusher and the third one just wouldnt flush. The bowl was a mess. Nothing I could do so I gathered myself, opened the stall door and came face to face with the attendant guy who cleans the mens rooms. He had a mop in his hand and was horrified. I quickly washed my hands and scurried out as he warily approached the crime scene. I continued my walk then boom...felt another rumble. Scurried back up to the club. there are about 5 mens rooms spread out along the cabana rows so I decided to hit a different one because of my previous run in. Identical explosive experience, groaning, slapping etc. I finish, open the door and come face to face with the same guy and now he's really horrified, with a look of confusion. Fml. Wash my hands, scurry out, continue my walk. 10 minutes in, a rumble. WTF. I scramble back up to the club and decide to hit the last bathroom as there is no way the attendant guy would have reached that one yet. Repeat the shitstorm, groaning, cursing, slapping etc. Open the door, hear footsteps and there he is, mop in hand turning into the doorway. He see's me and his eyes go wide like he's seeing a malodorous incontinent ghost, turns and leaves like the place was on fire. I think the poor guy was genuinly thinking he was losing his mind. Everywhere he went I had just blown up. Saw him the other day and slipped him a hundy as it was the last day at the club. He probably soaked the bill in bleach. '24 update. Drank coffee on the way to the club today, felt the rumble. Hit the shitter as soon as i got there, no one else in there, no employees around, perfect. Banged it out quick. Rushed to wash my hands to get the fuck out before anyone can connect the stench with me....in walks the same guy.
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Post by Big L on Jun 22, 2024 15:03:11 GMT -5
I belong to a beach club and about a month ago I dropped my daupne off to work (she's a lifeguard there). I dont ordinarily eat a greasy breakfast but the daupne wanted to stop on the way and I said fuck it and ordered a BEC. Went for a walk on the beach and about 10 minutes in I felt the rumble. I scurried back up to the club and hit the nearest empty bathroom and blew it up. Groans, "oh no, oh no", knee slapping, the whole act. It was a three flusher and the third one just wouldnt flush. The bowl was a mess. Nothing I could do so I gathered myself, opened the stall door and came face to face with the attendant guy who cleans the mens rooms. He had a mop in his hand and was horrified. I quickly washed my hands and scurried out as he warily approached the crime scene. I continued my walk then boom...felt another rumble. Scurried back up to the club. there are about 5 mens rooms spread out along the cabana rows so I decided to hit a different one because of my previous run in. Identical explosive experience, groaning, slapping etc. I finish, open the door and come face to face with the same guy and now he's really horrified, with a look of confusion. Fml. Wash my hands, scurry out, continue my walk. 10 minutes in, a rumble. WTF. I scramble back up to the club and decide to hit the last bathroom as there is no way the attendant guy would have reached that one yet. Repeat the shitstorm, groaning, cursing, slapping etc. Open the door, hear footsteps and there he is, mop in hand turning into the doorway. He see's me and his eyes go wide like he's seeing a malodorous incontinent ghost, turns and leaves like the place was on fire. I think the poor guy was genuinly thinking he was losing his mind. Everywhere he went I had just blown up. Saw him the other day and slipped him a hundy as it was the last day at the club. He probably soaked the bill in bleach. '24 update. Drank coffee on the way to the club today, felt the rumble. Hit the shitter as soon as i got there, no one else in there, no employees around, perfect. Banged it out quick. Rushed to wash my hands to get the fuck out before anyone can connect the stench with me....in walks the same guy. If it weren’t for you, this guy would be standing around with nothing to do, and prolly fired by now. He should thank you.
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Post by Big L on Jun 23, 2024 18:15:28 GMT -5
In the good the bad and the ugly, they have to cross the bridge to get to the cemetery. Union and confederate fighting over the bridge. No one sees them setting the bridge with dynamite? Not one person on either side? And then how do they get across the river with the bridge now destroyed? Swim? Then why not just swim across a little downstream?
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Post by 32Green on Jun 23, 2024 20:10:59 GMT -5
In the good the bad and the ugly, they have to cross the bridge to get to the cemetery. Union and confederate fighting over the bridge. No one sees them setting the bridge with dynamite? Not one person on either side? And then how do they get across the river with the bridge now destroyed? Swim? Then why not just swim across a little downstream? Apparently, you've discovered it's not a documentary. Congrats.
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Post by shakin on Jun 23, 2024 22:11:35 GMT -5
I belong to a beach club and about a month ago I dropped my daupne off to work (she's a lifeguard there). I dont ordinarily eat a greasy breakfast but the daupne wanted to stop on the way and I said fuck it and ordered a BEC. Went for a walk on the beach and about 10 minutes in I felt the rumble. I scurried back up to the club and hit the nearest empty bathroom and blew it up. Groans, "oh no, oh no", knee slapping, the whole act. It was a three flusher and the third one just wouldnt flush. The bowl was a mess. Nothing I could do so I gathered myself, opened the stall door and came face to face with the attendant guy who cleans the mens rooms. He had a mop in his hand and was horrified. I quickly washed my hands and scurried out as he warily approached the crime scene. I continued my walk then boom...felt another rumble. Scurried back up to the club. there are about 5 mens rooms spread out along the cabana rows so I decided to hit a different one because of my previous run in. Identical explosive experience, groaning, slapping etc. I finish, open the door and come face to face with the same guy and now he's really horrified, with a look of confusion. Fml. Wash my hands, scurry out, continue my walk. 10 minutes in, a rumble. WTF. I scramble back up to the club and decide to hit the last bathroom as there is no way the attendant guy would have reached that one yet. Repeat the shitstorm, groaning, cursing, slapping etc. Open the door, hear footsteps and there he is, mop in hand turning into the doorway. He see's me and his eyes go wide like he's seeing a malodorous incontinent ghost, turns and leaves like the place was on fire. I think the poor guy was genuinly thinking he was losing his mind. Everywhere he went I had just blown up. Saw him the other day and slipped him a hundy as it was the last day at the club. He probably soaked the bill in bleach. '24 update. Drank coffee on the way to the club today, felt the rumble. Hit the shitter as soon as i got there, no one else in there, no employees around, perfect. Banged it out quick. Rushed to wash my hands to get the fuck out before anyone can connect the stench with me....in walks the same guy. about 20 years ago me and my brother took our young sons to south carolina for some golfing. one night we go to a bbq place and i eat like like its my last meal, and the bbq beans they have are amazing so im sucking those down like a degenerate. next morning we're signing in at the pro shop at some real nice course, and boom, i gotta go and i gotta go NOW. i'm shuffling taking 2 inch steps squeezing my cheeks together til i get to the beautiful shiny members rest room. i rush to teh first stall ripping open my belt and zipper on the way, my ass hits the seat at the same time a fucking lava spew hits the toilet water. i'm hollowing out, and the steamy egg/sulfur/death stench is horrific. i know there's gonna be a second and third wave, so i'm hanging for like ten minutes. ten minutes of hearing guy after guy walk in going 'MY GOD' and 'GOOD LORD' and 'UGH OH HELL NO' and stuff like that. i'm lmao giggling to myself like the stunted manchild i am. anyway finally i think i'm done and think the coast is clear, i clean up and i'm walking out of the stall and i hear the bathroom door opening. i jump in front of the urinal like i'm peeing because i'm not gonna take the credit for the fucking cloud that's in there. the guy goes OH MY GOD and i'm like 'yeah, right? ugh.' i wash my hands, walk out the door and around the back of the pro shop so when i get to the desk all the victims out there don't see me coming from the bathroom and think it was me, and give me the stinkeye a clean getaway, asitwere
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Post by shakin on Jun 27, 2024 6:37:37 GMT -5
good brother in law gets cool stuff. lefty freak brother in law gets mailed anonymous shit now and then to trigger him
ok yeah i got too much time on my hands
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Post by Trades on Jun 27, 2024 8:01:05 GMT -5
good brother in law gets cool stuff. lefty freak brother in law gets mailed anonymous shit now and then to trigger him ok yeah i got too much time on my hands Might have to send some of those to my lib son in law. He is still a Bernie guy at 35.
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Post by quantum on Jun 27, 2024 10:38:08 GMT -5
good brother in law gets cool stuff. lefty freak brother in law gets mailed anonymous shit now and then to trigger him ok yeah i got too much time on my hands Might have to send some of those to my lib son in law. He is still a Bernie guy at 35. condolences. Told my son when he started college that he's not allowed to bring home a Dem, lib, or worse, theater major. And that she will be vetted.
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Post by bxjetfan on Jun 27, 2024 16:13:26 GMT -5
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Post by westcoastoffensive on Jun 28, 2024 11:46:27 GMT -5
My big boy, a 22 lb siamese named Yoda, aka The Sheriff, has passed. He was 16; cross-eyed and mean. He was rescued from McClaren Park woods near the Jerry Garcia Amphitheater.
To console myself I am wishing that the Coen Brothers would do the re-make of "The Pope of Greenwich Village"
Help me with some of that dark humor, fellas. The voodoo, that you do, so well.
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Post by bxjetfan on Jun 28, 2024 12:24:21 GMT -5
My big boy, a 22 lb siamese named Yoda, aka The Sheriff, has passed. He was 16; cross-eyed and mean. He was rescued from McClaren Park woods near the Jerry Garcia Amphitheater. To console myself I am wishing that the Coen Brothers would do the re-make of "The Pope of Greenwich Village" Help me with some of that dark humor, fellas. The voodoo, that you do, so well. Sorry to hear about your cat. It’s tough losing a pet. That being said, he probably didn’t like you anyway because you said he was mean. Hope this eases your pain.
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Post by shakin on Jun 28, 2024 16:42:45 GMT -5
if i was a contestant on naked and afraid, and my partner was a decent looking chick, i'd secretly hoard/eat any food i found and after about a week of her starving i'd definitely start talking alot about the high protein content in sprems
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Post by shakin on Jun 28, 2024 16:45:42 GMT -5
My big boy, a 22 lb siamese named Yoda, aka The Sheriff, has passed. He was 16; cross-eyed and mean. He was rescued from McClaren Park woods near the Jerry Garcia Amphitheater. To console myself I am wishing that the Coen Brothers would do the re-make of "The Pope of Greenwich Village" Help me with some of that dark humor, fellas. The voodoo, that you do, so well. sorry bro but as crossfire reminded me when my mom passed, we still have his parents, so on the doggy front, me and the wifne are heading down to virginia next week to pick up our next rescue. 3 year old sheperd/boxer mix. can't wait
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Post by 32Green on Jun 28, 2024 18:16:11 GMT -5
He was 16; cross-eyed and mean. Sounds like the world lost a shitbird. RIHSB
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