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Post by shakin on Dec 25, 2018 21:52:15 GMT -5
Wifne is sick on Christmas. Now I’ll have to search for some Christmas themed porn for a good wank later. FML. Sorry pal. In the basement watching the Celtics game with the sopne who is home from school. Talking guy shit which I never get to do around my wifne and dopne. Dopne presents herself in front of me and says "Something exploded upstairs". (Wifne cooking dinner). I lurch up the stairs and find the weeping wench sweeping up broken glass...which is all over the kitchen. Apparently, she opened the oven and simultaneously, the cooking dish holding her roast went boom. All over the oven, out, all over her, up in the air and on top of all the side dishes that were cooling around the stove. Entire...fucking...Christmas..fucking...dinner. Done. I went into work mode and immediate calm. (you go calm when others are losing their shit) Consoled the wench, sent her downstairs with a glass of wine and have spent the last hour and a half with a shop vac, simple green and a roll of paper towels. Entire dinner, scooped into the garbage. Thank God she didnt have a scratch and we had no company. Wtf Baby Jesus. Oh and sorry Big L has to jerk off. fhl ghhoddammmmm.... bhuuummpussssess!!!!!
alright
get dresssed
we are going OUT, to dinner.
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Post by 32Green on Dec 25, 2018 22:57:27 GMT -5
Sorry pal. In the basement watching the Celtics game with the sopne who is home from school. Talking guy shit which I never get to do around my wifne and dopne. Dopne presents herself in front of me and says "Something exploded upstairs". (Wifne cooking dinner). I lurch up the stairs and find the weeping wench sweeping up broken glass...which is all over the kitchen. Apparently, she opened the oven and simultaneously, the cooking dish holding her roast went boom. All over the oven, out, all over her, up in the air and on top of all the side dishes that were cooling around the stove. Entire...fucking...Christmas..fucking...dinner. Done. I went into work mode and immediate calm. (you go calm when others are losing their shit) Consoled the wench, sent her downstairs with a glass of wine and have spent the last hour and a half with a shop vac, simple green and a roll of paper towels. Entire dinner, scooped into the garbage. Thank God she didnt have a scratch and we had no company. Wtf Baby Jesus. Did she have any coin on the Celtics game? 1 large. We're frugal people.
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Post by 32Green on Dec 25, 2018 23:03:48 GMT -5
Sorry pal. In the basement watching the Celtics game with the sopne who is home from school. Talking guy shit which I never get to do around my wifne and dopne. Dopne presents herself in front of me and says "Something exploded upstairs". (Wifne cooking dinner). I lurch up the stairs and find the weeping wench sweeping up broken glass...which is all over the kitchen. Apparently, she opened the oven and simultaneously, the cooking dish holding her roast went boom. All over the oven, out, all over her, up in the air and on top of all the side dishes that were cooling around the stove. Entire...fucking...Christmas..fucking...dinner. Done. I went into work mode and immediate calm. (you go calm when others are losing their shit) Consoled the wench, sent her downstairs with a glass of wine and have spent the last hour and a half with a shop vac, simple green and a roll of paper towels. Entire dinner, scooped into the garbage. Thank God she didnt have a scratch and we had no company. Wtf Baby Jesus. Oh and sorry Big L has to jerk off. fhl ghhoddammmmm.... bhuuummpussssess!!!!!
alright
get dresssed
we are going OUT, to dinner.
Lolz...I actually saved the day by making Mozzarella sticks and pigs in blankets..the virtual equivalent to what you described. After wifne hit the sack finally, sopne grabbed me by the shoulders and gave me the thumbs up for my deft moves. Coulda went south quick, but we saved the day and laughed about it. Christmas miracle. lolz. fml
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Post by Hotman on Dec 25, 2018 23:54:03 GMT -5
Wifne is sick on Christmas. Now I’ll have to search for some Christmas themed porn for a good wank later. FML. Sorry pal. In the basement watching the Celtics game with the sopne who is home from school. Talking guy shit which I never get to do around my wifne and dopne. Dopne presents herself in front of me and says "Something exploded upstairs". (Wifne cooking dinner). I lurch up the stairs and find the weeping wench sweeping up broken glass...which is all over the kitchen. Apparently, she opened the oven and simultaneously, the cooking dish holding her roast went boom. All over the oven, out, all over her, up in the air and on top of all the side dishes that were cooling around the stove. Entire...fucking...Christmas..fucking...dinner. Done. I went into work mode and immediate calm. (you go calm when others are losing their shit) Consoled the wench, sent her downstairs with a glass of wine and have spent the last hour and a half with a shop vac, simple green and a roll of paper towels. Entire dinner, scooped into the garbage. Thank God she didnt have a scratch and we had no company. Wtf Baby Jesus. Oh and sorry Big L has to jerk off. fhl hold on what happened?
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2018 3:20:25 GMT -5
What happened? Green let the Shakespeare fespital cater Christmas. All in the name of getting back that $700 from the Green Bay game.
Hitman where are the shrooms? I don't see them.
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Post by Raoul Duke on Dec 26, 2018 4:04:07 GMT -5
Wifne is sick on Christmas. Now I’ll have to search for some Christmas themed porn for a good wank later. FML. Sorry pal. In the basement watching the Celtics game with the sopne who is home from school. Talking guy shit which I never get to do around my wifne and dopne. Dopne presents herself in front of me and says "Something exploded upstairs". (Wifne cooking dinner). I lurch up the stairs and find the weeping wench sweeping up broken glass...which is all over the kitchen. Apparently, she opened the oven and simultaneously, the cooking dish holding her roast went boom. All over the oven, out, all over her, up in the air and on top of all the side dishes that were cooling around the stove. Entire...fucking...Christmas..fucking...dinner. Done. This is why I don't cook. ghhoddammmmm.... bhuuummpussssess!!!!!
alright
get dresssed
we are going OUT, to dinner.
Lolz...I actually saved the day by making Mozzarella sticks and pigs in blankets..the virtual equivalent to what you described. After wifne hit the sack finally, sopne grabbed me by the shoulders and gave me the thumbs up for my deft moves. Coulda went south quick, but we saved the day and laughed about it. Christmas miracle. lolz. fml ...and great save indeed. Could have whipped out some butterscotch licker, that always helps.
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Post by Big L on Dec 26, 2018 4:53:14 GMT -5
Wifne is sick on Christmas. Now I’ll have to search for some Christmas themed porn for a good wank later. FML. Sorry pal. In the basement watching the Celtics game with the sopne who is home from school. Talking guy shit which I never get to do around my wifne and dopne. Dopne presents herself in front of me and says "Something exploded upstairs". (Wifne cooking dinner). I lurch up the stairs and find the weeping wench sweeping up broken glass...which is all over the kitchen. Apparently, she opened the oven and simultaneously, the cooking dish holding her roast went boom. All over the oven, out, all over her, up in the air and on top of all the side dishes that were cooling around the stove. Entire...fucking...Christmas..fucking...dinner. Done. I went into work mode and immediate calm. (you go calm when others are losing their shit) Consoled the wench, sent her downstairs with a glass of wine and have spent the last hour and a half with a shop vac, simple green and a roll of paper towels. Entire dinner, scooped into the garbage. Thank God she didnt have a scratch and we had no company. Wtf Baby Jesus. Oh and sorry Big L has to jerk off. fhl Yeah thanks. I definitely had it worse. after cooking prime rib dinner, cleaning up, and drinking most of the wine, too tired for a wank. Watched Christmas themed Futurama instead. fml
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Post by bxjetfan on Dec 26, 2018 8:54:17 GMT -5
Did she have any coin on the Celtics game? 1 large. We're frugal people. Shoulda splurged on Pyrex. 😂
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Post by bxjetfan on Dec 26, 2018 8:55:35 GMT -5
1 large. We're frugal people. Shoulda splurged on PyRectal Ryan. 😂 LOL Pyr.ex.
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Post by 32Green on Dec 26, 2018 17:21:20 GMT -5
1 large. We're frugal people. Shoulda splurged on PyRectal Ryan. 😂 Yeah, I had to edit my original post. It actually was That particular product which made it all the more surprising. Some dick here fucked with the auto-correct.
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Post by Big L on Dec 26, 2018 17:31:42 GMT -5
Shoulda splurged on PyRectal Ryan. 😂 Yeah, I had to edit my original post. It actually was That particular product which made it all the more surprising. Some dick here fucked with the auto-correct. Wifne dropped a Pyrex bowl filled with hot dinner deliciousness about a 8 months ago. Thing exploded in about a thousand pebble sized shards of glass. Of course, it was somehow my fault, and I cleaned the shit up. Still found a pebble of razor glass stuck in my floppy floppies about a month later.
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Post by 32Green on Dec 26, 2018 17:49:13 GMT -5
Yeah, I had to edit my original post. It actually was That particular product which made it all the more surprising. Some dick here fucked with the auto-correct. Wifne dropped a PyRectal Ryan bowl filled with hot dinner deliciousness about a 8 months ago. Thing exploded in about a thousand pebble sized shards of glass. Of course, it was somehow my fault, and I cleaned the shit up. Still found a pebble of razor glass stuck in my floppy floppies about a month later. Bet there was a glass/bottle of wine involved you werent allowed to mention? The Pyr-ex was lethal. Couldnt have spread itself more across the kitchen iffin there was a grenade involved. Still dont know how the wifne escaped the shrapnel. Raoul's relatives would have been sprawled lifeless across the floor with boar-chunks in their gaping mouths. Thankfully it was a large Filet Mignon and she cut it in two prior to cooking, so we will try this again tonight with the other half.
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Post by Big L on Dec 26, 2018 18:08:28 GMT -5
Wifne dropped a PyRectal Ryan bowl filled with hot dinner deliciousness about a 8 months ago. Thing exploded in about a thousand pebble sized shards of glass. Of course, it was somehow my fault, and I cleaned the shit up. Still found a pebble of razor glass stuck in my floppy floppies about a month later. Bet there was a glass/bottle of wine involved you werent allowed to mention? The Pyr-ex was lethal. Couldnt have spread itself more across the kitchen iffin there was a grenade involved. Still dont know how the wifne escaped the shrapnel. Raoul's relatives would have been sprawled lifeless across the floor with boar-chunks in their gaping mouths. Thankfully it was a large Filet Mignon and she cut it in two prior to cooking, so we will try this again tonight with the other half. Sir, anything to do with the wifne always involves a bottle of wine. Which prolly ‘splains a bit why she thinks everything’s my fault even if I were out of the country at the time. We have a dining room off of the kitchen - found chucks of the pyr-ex in there, must have been 15 to 20 feet from Pyr-ex ground zero. good luck with the fillet - maybe you take it out of the oven tonight.
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Post by 32Green on Dec 26, 2018 20:00:12 GMT -5
Bet there was a glass/bottle of wine involved you werent allowed to mention? The Pyr-ex was lethal. Couldnt have spread itself more across the kitchen iffin there was a grenade involved. Still dont know how the wifne escaped the shrapnel. Raoul's relatives would have been sprawled lifeless across the floor with boar-chunks in their gaping mouths. Thankfully it was a large Filet Mignon and she cut it in two prior to cooking, so we will try this again tonight with the other half. Sir, anything to do with the wifne always involves a bottle of wine. Which prolly ‘splains a bit why she thinks everything’s my fault even if I were out of the country at the time. We have a dining room off of the kitchen - found chucks of the pyr-ex in there, must have been 15 to 20 feet from Pyr-ex ground zero. good luck with the fillet - maybe you take it out of the oven tonight.
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Post by porgyman on Dec 27, 2018 7:55:38 GMT -5
I just received an ad for new men’s underwear with “an innovative dual pouch design “. WTF? Who the hell needs 2 pouches? When I grow a second dick, I’ll order this.
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