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Post by shakin on Jul 28, 2022 10:41:14 GMT -5
so my mom is 87, her and pops (89) have been self-sufficient in a beautiful house in maine for the past 20 years
within the last month, she's gone from 100% mom... to losing her train of thought... to episodes of strange things... to basically dementia needing eyes on her 24/7, because of some scary shit
waitlists just too see a neurologist are months (fucking MONTHS)... waitlists for memory care housing and other assistance are up to a fucking YEAR
any long-term care involving medicaid involves draining every asset they own before it kicks in
our fucking health care system is BROKEN, and we all know who fucking broke it
6 siblings between us, all living down from CT to Virginia...been taking turns spending whatever time we can up there trying to maintain 24/7 coverage with the help from some local friends and occasional visiting nurses. unsustainable long-term... fucking crazy
anyway if any of you have dealt with it with a family member, god bless you, it is fucking brutal and i don't know how you got through it long term. i'm shot from my week up there, now my wife is there with my sister and the stories they're sharing are nightmares
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Post by Bing© in Buffalo Chairman on Jul 28, 2022 11:09:28 GMT -5
Damn Brother I am so very sorry to hear about that. Must be really difficult to see that happen to a loved one.
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Post by Raoul Duke on Jul 28, 2022 11:15:03 GMT -5
I feel for you. My grandpa had it when I was a teenager and we also took turns spending the night at his place. It was hard for me but I remember how hard it was on my father see his Dad become a shell of his former self.
It's my dad's biggest fear since he has a brother who got it too. Whenever something gets mixed up he'll go Rainman trying to figure out if i fucked up the info transmission or if he forgot it.
Good luck
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Post by 2foolish on Jul 28, 2022 11:45:23 GMT -5
my father lost his ability to talk...strange how it effects different areas of brain...hang in there bro...
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Post by Trades on Jul 28, 2022 12:08:09 GMT -5
Have you looked to bring her down to this area from Maine or at least called around to see if you can get in to a specialist in this area? Have to assume there are more doctors here than Maine. I went through a lot of shit with my Dad a few years ago. It is so difficult seeing your parent deteriorate. Just be there for them. That is the best advice I can give. That and always feel free to vent to your fellow misfits here.
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Post by Big L on Jul 28, 2022 12:08:51 GMT -5
My grandmother had dementia. Sucked. She did not last long.
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Post by shakin on Jul 28, 2022 12:46:52 GMT -5
Have you looked to bring her down to this area from Maine or at least called around to see if you can get in to a specialist in this area? Have to assume there are more doctors here than Maine. I went through a lot of shit with my Dad a few years ago. It is so difficult seeing your parent deteriorate. Just be there for them. That is the best advice I can give. That and always feel free to vent to your fellow misfits here. yeah every time they've needed good care we've taken them down to jersey where my sister knows people. shit hit the fan so fast we're not sure she could make the trip right now. and also jersey has a ridiculous waiting period for any of the specialists we need maine is beautiful, but their health care system and health care quality in general sucks, but right now thats what we have it's come on so fast i've been suspicious that it may not be dementia (or 100% due to dementia)... bad UTIs can cause dementia-like symptoms, she's dealt with them often (because Maine health care doesn't really fix anything, they get you home) also looking into toxicity, the speech therapist that saw her last week and today said her decline in a week is just to fast for alzheimers/dementia... he said it indicates toxicity and also mentioned UTIs |
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Post by Trades on Jul 28, 2022 12:55:49 GMT -5
Have you looked to bring her down to this area from Maine or at least called around to see if you can get in to a specialist in this area? Have to assume there are more doctors here than Maine. I went through a lot of shit with my Dad a few years ago. It is so difficult seeing your parent deteriorate. Just be there for them. That is the best advice I can give. That and always feel free to vent to your fellow misfits here. yeah every time they've needed good care we've taken them down to jersey where my sister knows people. shit hit the fan so fast we're not sure she could make the trip right now. and also jersey has a ridiculous waiting period for any of the specialists we need maine is beautiful, but their health care system and health care quality in general sucks, but right now thats what we have it's come on so fast i've been suspicious that it may not be dementia (or 100% due to dementia)... bad UTIs can cause dementia-like symptoms, she's dealt with them often (because Maine health care doesn't really fix anything, they get you home) also looking into toxicity, the speech therapist that saw her last week and today said her decline in a week is just to fast for alzheimers/dementia... he said it indicates toxicity and also mentioned UTIs Call Alzheimer's NJ 888-280-6055 and see if they can help. NY Presbyterian supposedly has a good Alzheimer's reputation. I don't know what kind of insurance she has but what would happen if you brought her to the ER there? Would that fast track you to get some attention? I understand that might not be possible due to your concerns moving her. |
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Post by porgyman on Jul 28, 2022 14:36:42 GMT -5
If she is unable to travel, consider a University affiliated teaching hospital in Maine. There’s a specialized Geriatric Care Center at Maine Medical Center in Portland. 207-662-2847.
Best of luck.
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Post by tbp on Jul 28, 2022 14:52:36 GMT -5
Sorry to hear that Shakin. My Mom had a lot of dementia but with 3 out of 6 children we managed to deal with getting day care and then whomever was around would spend occasional nights with her. She didn't have a disabling complete dose of it though, just some crippling and scary moments which, for the most part, we were able to deal with. It was er dementia that killed her. She was in rehab after a fall and she thought she was perfectly healthy, got out of bed to head for the bathroom, fell, hit her head, and within a week she had passed from the damage due to the fall. She was 96 at the time of her death. Good luck and best wishes. It's not an easy road for any of you.
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Post by tkasper01 on Jul 28, 2022 17:54:04 GMT -5
Sorry to hear that Shakin. My Mom had a lot of dementia but with 3 out of 6 children we managed to deal with getting day care and then whomever was around would spend occasional nights with her. She didn't have a disabling complete dose of it though, just some crippling and scary moments which, for the most part, we were able to deal with. It was er dementia that killed her. She was in rehab after a fall and she thought she was perfectly healthy, got out of bed to head for the bathroom, fell, hit her head, and within a week she had passed from the damage due to the fall. She was 96 at the time of her death. Good luck and best wishes. It's not an easy road for any of you. Sound like grounds for lawsuit. Bed rails should have been up and bed alarm turned on. Dementia and Alzheimer's pt. suffer leg issues. I am dealing with my 3rd relative, Aunt, 82. I just had to move her to an Assisted living place with memory care. 8k a month. She has about 600K at her disposal. I will spend every bit of it before going to a nursing home. Shakin - Good luck. I hate to be the barer of bad news, but this sucks. The US treats its old people like shit. We started with my FIL in '97, then MIL in '07. |
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Post by shakin on Jul 28, 2022 18:18:35 GMT -5
Sorry to hear that Shakin. My Mom had a lot of dementia but with 3 out of 6 children we managed to deal with getting day care and then whomever was around would spend occasional nights with her. She didn't have a disabling complete dose of it though, just some crippling and scary moments which, for the most part, we were able to deal with. It was er dementia that killed her. She was in rehab after a fall and she thought she was perfectly healthy, got out of bed to head for the bathroom, fell, hit her head, and within a week she had passed from the damage due to the fall. She was 96 at the time of her death. Good luck and best wishes. It's not an easy road for any of you. Sound like grounds for lawsuit. Bed rails should have been up and bed alarm turned on. Dementia and Alzheimer's pt. suffer leg issues. I am dealing with my 3rd relative, Aunt, 82. I just had to move her to an Assisted living place with memory care. 8k a month. She has about 600K at her disposal. I will spend every bit of it before going to a nursing home. Shakin - Good luck. I hate to be the barer of bad news, but this sucks. The US treats its old people like shit. We started with my FIL in '97, then MIL in '07. yep, i know it. being retired and sick of the tri-state area, i am seriously considering selling and moving up there to be the caregiver. still too soon to know what the fuck is going on, so dealing with it day by day now mrs. shakin being up there is giving me plenty of alone time to reflect. by reflect i mean drink. but you knew that |
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Post by bxjetfan on Jul 28, 2022 19:36:57 GMT -5
Sorry to hear that Shakin. I watched my grandfather with my aunt for awhile before he passed.
I saw a documentary about Alzheimers and music. They would play music from the patients when they were younger. The folks got really animated and seemed to bounce back for a bit. Maybe pull the top 40 from her younger years and put a playlist together. Good luck.
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Post by bxjetfan on Jul 28, 2022 19:42:08 GMT -5
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Post by bxjetfan on Jul 28, 2022 19:48:24 GMT -5
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