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Post by Ff2 on Aug 23, 2019 8:31:19 GMT -5
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Post by Hotman on Aug 23, 2019 8:39:48 GMT -5
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Post by shea319now314 on Aug 23, 2019 10:52:34 GMT -5
An Irishman and his nagging wife decided to take a vacation in Israel.
While visiting Jerusalem the wife suddenly passed away.
The funeral director told him it would cost 12000 to ship her body back to the states but if he wanted her buried in the Holy Land it would be under 2000.
The husband said ship her home.
Undertaker said why waste the money, wat could be better than being buried right here in Jerusalem?
Irish guy said Listen pal, 2000 years ago they buried a guy here and 3 days later he rose from the dead
Send my wife the fuck home
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Post by shea319now314 on Aug 27, 2019 12:14:55 GMT -5
Wife turns to her husband one morning and said
Sunday is our wedding anniversary how do you think we can celebrate?
Husband says how about a moment of silence
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Post by shea319now314 on Aug 30, 2019 11:48:27 GMT -5
What does a hurricane and a Florida divorce have in common?
Someone’s gonna lose a trailer
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Post by ricard78 on Sept 3, 2019 3:29:49 GMT -5
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming angry. She says to the man next to her: "The driver just insulted me."
The man says: "You go up there and tell him to fuck off. Don't worry, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Post by ricard78 on Sept 3, 2019 3:32:18 GMT -5
My girlfriend left me because I am insecure.
No wait, she just went out to buy milk.
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Post by ricard78 on Sept 3, 2019 3:34:41 GMT -5
What is the slowest land vehicle?
Stevie Wonders Speedboat
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Post by Big L on Sept 5, 2019 13:29:35 GMT -5
Three old men were sitting around, complaining about how much their hands shake.
The first geezer said, “My hands shake so bad that when I shaved this morning, I cut my face!”
The second old man one-upped him. “My hands tremble so bad that when I mowed my lawn yesterday, I cut all the flowers in the garden!”
The third old man laughed and said, “That’s nothing. My hands shake so bad that when I took a piss today, I came three times.”
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Post by Big L on Sept 20, 2019 7:20:48 GMT -5
I proposed to my ex-wife today.
She said no, she thinks I’m just after my money.
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Post by 32Green on Sept 20, 2019 9:25:31 GMT -5
Funniest thing you'll read all week!
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Post by 32Green on Sept 20, 2019 9:33:09 GMT -5
lmao...this fackin clown doesnt get it. Oh this is rich. lololol uh uh lololol
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Post by Big L on Sept 20, 2019 9:52:35 GMT -5
Ironing?
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Post by Big L on Jan 8, 2020 7:07:27 GMT -5
A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her husband’s temper.
The doctor asks, “So what seems to be the problem?”
The woman says, “Doctor, I don’t know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason at all. It’s starting to scare me.”
The Doctor tells her, “I think I have just the cure for that. When it seems your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish, and swish, but don’t swallow it until he leaves the room or decides to go to bed.”
Two weeks later, the woman returns, looking fresh and reborn. The woman says, “Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband started to lose it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and he calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?!”
The Doctor informs her, “The water itself does nothing. It’s having to keep your mouth shut that does the trick.”
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Post by Ff2 on Jan 8, 2020 9:38:37 GMT -5
Old David Spa standup joke;
You know Jon Benet Ramsey?
She’s wasn’t so hot without make up,
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