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Post by Raoul Duke on Jul 1, 2015 9:56:57 GMT -5
Brought to you by 32green:
Mongo is your name, torture is my game.
So with the population here I'm sure there should be some gems.
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Post by 32Green on Jul 1, 2015 9:59:49 GMT -5
I will re-post my Mongo stories herein.
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Post by Raoul Duke on Jul 1, 2015 10:00:27 GMT -5
I once broke up with a chick who was clearly in love with me. Sensing the hours of nagging, tears and explanations, when she asked why I just said “you got fat”, knowing it was the dagger to the heart that would cut short all discussions. She got up and left immediately. She wasn’t fat at all. She was actually really pretty.
walking_home_crying-1328
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Post by Raoul Duke on Jul 1, 2015 10:07:06 GMT -5
I once offered a liver transplanted, recovering ex-alcoholic a beer.
walking_home_crying-1328
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Post by frostlich on Jul 1, 2015 10:08:11 GMT -5
6Th grade.
Hocked a loogie from 3rd floor open window onto unsuspecting 5th grader. When loogie was in mid flight I yelled "hey kid!" Kid looked up just in time with mouth open....and in goes the loogie.
Aside from being an impressive 1 in 1M shot it was a pretty shitty thing to do.
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Post by 32Green on Jul 1, 2015 10:10:11 GMT -5
I once broke up with a chick who was clearly in love with me. Sensing the hours of nagging, tears and explanations, when she asked why I just said “you got fat”, knowing it was the dagger to the heart that would cut short all discussions. She got up and left immediately. She wasn’t fat at all. She was actually really pretty. walking_home_crying-1328
On second thought, I'll stay in the funny pitcher thread.
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Post by Raoul Duke on Jul 1, 2015 10:13:05 GMT -5
I once broke up with a chick who was clearly in love with me. Sensing the hours of nagging, tears and explanations, when she asked why I just said “you got fat”, knowing it was the dagger to the heart that would cut short all discussions. She got up and left immediately. She wasn’t fat at all. She was actually really pretty. walking_home_crying-1328
On second thought, I'll stay in the funny pitcher thread.
What, that was too weak? |
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Post by Fishooked on Jul 1, 2015 10:13:46 GMT -5
I once broke up with a chick who was clearly in love with me. Sensing the hours of nagging, tears and explanations, when she asked why I just said “you got fat”, knowing it was the dagger to the heart that would cut short all discussions. She got up and left immediately. She wasn’t fat at all. She was actually really pretty. walking_home_crying-1328 Something similar. Was dating some crazy broad who a nanny for some rich couple in West Orange. They planned a trip to Mexico and planned to bring her with them so she could help with the kids. Anyway, she was entirely paranoid that while she was away I would find someone else and break up with her. The week she was gone I started fooling around with this girl from work Id had a huge crush on forever. When she came back with her I broke up with her over the phone. She was devastated. We picked a day when she could swing by and pick up her stuff, but instead I left it outside my apartment door and went out. The next day my neighbors in the apartment complex berated me for breaking up with her the way I did, she said she was a hysterical mess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ |
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Post by frostlich on Jul 1, 2015 10:14:05 GMT -5
I once broke up with a chick who was clearly in love with me. Sensing the hours of nagging, tears and explanations, when she asked why I just said “you got fat”, knowing it was the dagger to the heart that would cut short all discussions. She got up and left immediately. She wasn’t fat at all. She was actually really pretty. walking_home_crying-1328 Thanks. Now FF2 will never come back. Please move to gay marriage thread. |
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Post by Fishooked on Jul 1, 2015 10:16:32 GMT -5
I once offered a liver transplanted, recovering ex-alcoholic a beer. walking_home_crying-1328  |
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Post by 32Green on Jul 1, 2015 10:18:21 GMT -5
On second thought, I'll stay in the funny pitcher thread.
What, that was too weak? Ha ha...not at all...that was fargin brutal. I don't want to be associated with ye!
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Post by rexneffect on Jul 1, 2015 10:56:11 GMT -5
I flooded an entire bar by clogging their toilet and breaking the handle because I got mad at something the staff did. I just meant to clog the toilet with a massive BM but one thing led to another. At least the floors were concrete so they could push it out the doors. Statute of limitations has run. Fuck it.
When I was in my mid-twenties I went through a tough breakup. I didn't have the opportunity to cuss that whore out like I should have. Shortly after I was invited to a party to celebrate some friends getting married. There was a lot of drinking going on. I got pretty wasted and proceeded to tell the newly married couple how I thought all relationships were worthless and they should do themselves a favor and get a divorce now because it would be easier. Then I ran out of steam and walked off. Needless to say that friendship did not last. I actually feel bad about that one.
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Post by Jets Things on Jul 1, 2015 11:11:51 GMT -5
Knocked up my wife for the fourth time.
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Post by 2milehighJet on Jul 1, 2015 11:37:18 GMT -5
In college right before finals had a suite-mate decide to drink a ton of tequilla(he never graduated..go figure), he puked into the garbage can, so I decide to "pour" the contents down the garbage shoot. 5 floor dorm, we lived on the top. Old building and the disposal was next to furnace with forced air ducts. The funk started where it landed near the common area/study halls then rose upward annihilating the entire building. People were pissed, no one could concentrate on studying with such a foul odor, building was basically evacuated. All told ruined about 100 people that night.
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Post by southside on Jul 1, 2015 12:27:24 GMT -5
You are bad people.
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