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Post by Jets Things on Sept 13, 2022 11:26:26 GMT -5
Many happy returns
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Post by Jets Things on Sept 13, 2022 7:13:03 GMT -5
I was at a CFB game yesterday when I felt the combination of nothing but morning coffee and a spicy beef patty for lunch brewing something foul, and would not wait. Went to the facilities and released a combination of solid, liquid, and gas with such an acrid aroma that would curl your nose hairs. No less than a half dozen people made comments upon entering the facility, such as ‘OMG’, ‘holy shit that’s awful’, and ‘what is that smell’. It was a proud moment. I belong to a beach club and about a month ago I dropped my daupne off to work (she's a lifeguard there). I dont ordinarily eat a greasy breakfast but the daupne wanted to stop on the way and I said fuck it and ordered a BEC. Went for a walk on the beach and about 10 minutes in I felt the rumble. I scurried back up to the club and hit the nearest empty bathroom and blew it up. Groans, "oh no, oh no", knee slapping, the whole act. It was a three flusher and the third one just wouldnt flush. The bowl was a mess. Nothing I could do so I gathered myself, opened the stall door and came face to face with the attendant guy who cleans the mens rooms. He had a mop in his hand and was horrified. I quickly washed my hands and scurried out as he warily approached the crime scene. I continued my walk then boom...felt another rumble. Scurried back up to the club. there are about 5 mens rooms spread out along the cabana rows so I decided to hit a different one because of my previous run in. Identical explosive experience, groaning, slapping etc. I finish, open the door and come face to face with the same guy and now he's really horrified, with a look of confusion. Fml. Wash my hands, scurry out, continue my walk. 10 minutes in, a rumble. WTF. I scramble back up to the club and decide to hit the last bathroom as there is no way the attendant guy would have reached that one yet. Repeat the shitstorm, groaning, cursing, slapping etc. Open the door, hear footsteps and there he is, mop in hand turning into the doorway. He see's me and his eyes go wide like he's seeing a malodorous incontinent ghost, turns and leaves like the place was on fire. I think the poor guy was genuinly thinking he was losing his mind. Everywhere he went I had just blown up. Saw him the other day and slipped him a hundy as it was the last day at the club. He probably soaked the bill in bleach. This is amazing, congratulations! I grew up going to ABC. Whenever I had to piss, I'd go into our cabana and piss in the shower with the water running. Whenever I had to shit, I'd use the bathroom in the clubhouse because it was always clean and quiet during the day. The bathrooms near the pool and lockers were always disgusting.
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Post by Jets Things on Sept 13, 2022 7:07:40 GMT -5
From the Twatter thread... "Whoever he pays to pipe Ciara must do a great job + very discreet" Wilson is definitely a homo.
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Post by Jets Things on Sept 12, 2022 17:33:07 GMT -5
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Post by Jets Things on Sept 12, 2022 6:53:51 GMT -5
I would put the O/U for the Cowboys at 6 games. They look terrible. So I guess we can stop whining about not getting McCarthy. Never wanted that overrated sack of crap to begin with.
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Post by Jets Things on Sept 11, 2022 21:57:11 GMT -5
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Post by Jets Things on Sept 11, 2022 20:25:41 GMT -5
Both of my boys won their first games of the season today. My 10 year old (center) allowed zero pressures and pulled left blocking for a TD (won 19-6). My 6 year old (DT) recorded his first career sack and made two TFL (won 19-18).
I'm a coach on the older guy's team and the team we beat knocked us out of the playoffs last year, so payback was nice. Their best player said "Fuck you and suck my dick" to my sopne during handshakes. His teammate behind him heard and said "19-6, no dick to suck" when it was his turn. Ten year old boys can be savage.
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Post by Jets Things on Sept 11, 2022 15:52:17 GMT -5
And living up to his nickname, boy howdy. Thanks fellas! Yes I am very much alive, just been spending more time outdoors and its been awesome. Even lost some weight, first time I'd been under 200lbs in a long, long time.Also my employer had the site blocked which played a part in that lol AIDS?
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Post by Jets Things on Sept 8, 2022 14:50:59 GMT -5
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Post by Jets Things on Sept 7, 2022 11:22:24 GMT -5
This seems odd. He can just as easily re-injure his knee in practice. If they are willing to risk that then why not let him play. Team doctors feelings aside, if Zach really wanted to play he woukd ask if he could get a second opinion.
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Post by Jets Things on Sept 3, 2022 16:55:36 GMT -5
all the people that died here but no one died of the rona huh dodged that bullet i guess Anyone in this gaggle is more likely to die of AIDS more than anything.
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Post by Jets Things on Sept 3, 2022 8:28:06 GMT -5
Conklin looks like morning breath personified, but he has a nasty juke.
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Post by Jets Things on Sept 1, 2022 19:48:17 GMT -5
15 year anniversary today and kids first day back at school. Took the day off. Popped two bottles of champagne after kids got on the bus, banged twice, went out to a three gin and tonic outdoor lunch, banged again, wifne napping, kids get home in an hour. Great day so far. i'm tired just reading this... Yeah well, I accidentally spilled beer on her side-hustle laptop. It won't start up and she's not talking to me.
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Post by Jets Things on Sept 1, 2022 13:13:43 GMT -5
15 year anniversary today and kids first day back at school. Took the day off. Popped two bottles of champagne after kids got on the bus, banged twice, went out to a three gin and tonic outdoor lunch, banged again, wifne napping, kids get home in an hour. Great day so far.
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Post by Jets Things on Aug 31, 2022 9:15:22 GMT -5
Many happy returns
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